Is Mark Kanemura Gay?

A lot of you Google searchers are asking whether or not my reality TV boyfriend, Mark Kanemura, is gay. The keywords you use are: “Kanemura gay”, “Kanemura is gay”, “Kanemura boyfriend”, “stycd mark gay”, and my favorite of them all “Is Mark Kanemura gay?”

So is he? Well, my googler friends, let us look at the probability that Mark is gay.

1. He’s a dancer. Most dancers are gay, right? Right. This places the probability that Mark is gay at 50%. [Don't ask me how I came up with 50%. It's a random number from out of the blue.]

2. He is, oh so cute and yummy. Seriously. Can anyone as cute and yummy as those Brokeback cowboys be straight? I don’t think so. You agree, right? So the probability that Mark is gay increases to 60%.

3. His nicknames are “Marky, Geisha, Markooshka”. Marky is okay but Geisha and Markooska? You can’t have nicknames like that and not be gay, right? Right. Probability that Mark is gay is now 70%.

4. He is soooo like very fond of using !!!!!!!!! which, to me, is a mark of gayness. Here’s our Mark and his !!!!!!!!!

From Fox News:
What has been your most memorable dance experience?
The last day of Vegas auditions!!!…. It was the first time I truly gave every part of myself while dancing, it was an incredible experience!!!!!!!

What have you learned so far in going through the audition process for this show?
So far, this process has been a huge challenge mentally!!!!! I’m learning that I can’t be so inverted. I need to allow myself to be somewhat vulnerable to the choreographers, dancers, and environment in order to grow.

I have also learned that if you wake up and you think your hair looks cute, you should probably still do it or put something in it to maintain the look, that way it doesn’t look like you have a mop on your head by the end of the day!!!!! Hahaha.

Which choreographers would you like to work with?
WADE!!!!!!………He is on another planet, in another mind set!!!!!……I LOVE IT!!!!!!

With that, let’s place Mark’s gayness at 80%!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Oh, did you read that thing he said about his hair? Let’s have it again because it bears repeating:

I have also learned that if you wake up and you think your hair looks cute, you should probably still do it or put something in it to maintain the look, that way it doesn’t look like you have a mop on your head by the end of the day!!!!! Hahaha.

Oh my. Do you think Tom Brady wakes up in the morning and says, “Hey my hair looks cute”? Not likely. So the probability that Mark is gay increases from 80% to 100%.

There, my googler friends, are the five indicators that make our Mark 100% gay. Click here for more of Mark.

Photo: Fox

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